r/facepalm • u/[deleted] • 12d ago
Double standards š²āš®āšøāšØā
[removed]
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u/Doomenor 12d ago
Calling my penis āfineā and ānormalā? Well sign me up for this cascade of compliments.
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u/LordSwright 12d ago
Even better if she doe it woth no context. Just overlunch one day "babe, your penis is normal, pass the salt, oh BTW Martha had the baby"
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u/LJRich619 12d ago
I just hope the baby was made by a penis that was normal and fine.
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u/DHarp74 12d ago
What about normal and coarse?
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u/Knickholeass 12d ago
We talking coarse like 60 grit sandpaper?
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u/Dotmatrix74 12d ago
Nah, genital warts kinda coarse.
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u/JoeyZasaa 12d ago
Martha had the baby"
Martha? Do you live in the 1910s? Who is named Martha in 2023?
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u/Themightymonarc 12d ago
Every time I tell my girlfriend her penis is normal she gets really mad
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u/capt-yossarius 12d ago edited 11d ago
It's a "good size."
Edit: I was sad no one recognized this as an allusion to Mallrats.
I feel old now.
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u/nwayve 12d ago
It's a "fun size."
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u/Theelderginger 12d ago
It's a girlfriend penis honey, not a wife penis if that makes sense.
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u/woodk2016 12d ago
This penis isn't wife material.
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12d ago edited 10d ago
[deleted]
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u/Potential-Sorbet8143 12d ago
Travel sized :D
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u/MailOrderDog 12d ago
My girlfriend says there's nothing wrong with a small penis, but I still wish she didn't have one.
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u/Sayakai 12d ago
You want her to have a big one instead?
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u/irisheye37 12d ago
Unironically
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u/Mateorabi 12d ago
She knows damn well itās bigger than yours.
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u/JimBeamerE91 12d ago
I told one of my best friends I loved their mustache! Now she wonāt talk to me.
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u/Even-Imagination6242 12d ago
My list if I were dating someone like Marie.
1) End the relationship and find someone far more friendly.
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u/xgodlesssaintx 12d ago
Guys if you ever feel like you put way more into a relationship than your partner be it a man or a woman, re-evaluate if itās worth the effort and have a talk with them or move on. Itās better to be alone than be with a manipulative toxic individual.
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u/Ewok_Adventure 12d ago
Damn..this is me on every date I've ever been on, and conversations leading up to the date and after it. If I could find someone that puts in half the effort I do I would be giddy with joy
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u/JamesGray 12d ago
There is another side to this: if you are putting a ton of effort into your first date and putting a lot into it in your head before you even know the person you're going on a date with you may be actively pushing potential partners away. There is an acceptable and normal amount of attention and communication expected from a stranger when first dating, and if you go well beyond that you not only can't expect them to meet you halfway but you may make them think you are obsessive or something.
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u/LoganCaleSalad 12d ago
Yup & that's why the first few dates should be very low effort coffee dates. If you're feeling each other you can always extend it longer. No expectations, no expensive dinner, no pressure. If she has a problem with this arrangement then that says all you need to know about her.
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u/relaxedcapybara1 12d ago
Dating and relashionships are a bit different. As a guy when I'm dating I can't give all the women same attention I'd give to one if I was in relationship with her, I don't expect them to do the same.
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u/Polispio 12d ago
And donāt let them just tell you what you want to hear while they keep engaging in behavior that hurts you. Actions speak louder than words.
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u/Old_Baldi_Locks 12d ago
Exactly.
She starts making you feel like your love and attention are burdens? Time to go. Stop eating out of the garbage can of the dating world.
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u/GravyMcBiscuits 12d ago
If one treats their relationship like a competition that must be won/lost ... then they are in for a very bad time. Grow up.
A relationship should be treated as a coop game ... it's you and your partner vs the world.
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u/characterfan123 12d ago
coup games? You ride up on a horse and tap each other on the head with a stick to show bravery in battle?
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u/SentientSickness 12d ago
Feel this
Anyone over 18 is too old for this shit
If I wanted to play games ide boot up my PlayStation
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u/SoylentGrunt 12d ago
I do these things to my boss.
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u/CorgiMonsoon 12d ago
Why do you know what your bossās penis looks like?
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u/tayto175 12d ago
How do you think he got the job?
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u/SoylentGrunt 12d ago
Tell me you never worked for Harvey Weinstein without saying you never worked for Harvey Weinstein.
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u/Connect_Package_5918 12d ago
āYou donāt know me. Youāve just seen my penis.ā
Unexpected Michael Scott moment.
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u/Kracus 12d ago
My ex tried some of those. Specifically 2, 3 and 4. I put up with it for years until we broke up, she wanted to get back together after a few weeks and a year later we did get back together. This started happening again and I put up with it for a week and that was the end of a 7 year relationship.
If you're with someone else, don't treat them like this and if you're being treated like this, as much as you love that person my advice is to drop them and move on. It's not worth the trouble to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. If they loved you back, they wouldn't treat you like that.
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u/Necessary-Cap-3982 12d ago
Yeah I just ended a relationship after dealing with 4,5, and 6 for a year and a half.
Was my first real relationship too. Itās a true shame that some people just stop trying sometimes.
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u/Quicker_Fixer Assumption is the mother of all fuckups 12d ago
If my penis grew a millimeter every time this one got reposted, I would be Ron Jeremy.
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u/Prestigious-Yak-4620 12d ago
You mean incarcerated
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u/Cynykl 12d ago
He was just released yesterday.
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u/Prestigious-Yak-4620 12d ago
Was gonna make a joke about release but, U werenāt kidding. Apparently he isnāt doing well health wise. Going home for 24hr medical care after no facility would take him. Of course that could all be a ruse.
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u/Zaggnabit 12d ago
Well, heās gotta be in his 70ās now. Not saying heās old but heās not young.
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u/Zauberer-IMDB 12d ago
Guy has been doing enough drugs to kill an elephant since the 1970s, I buy that his brain is all fucked up.
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u/suggested-name-138 12d ago
and always she's a serial shitposter and none the intended audience would have taken this seriously
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u/aliterati 12d ago
Can't ever just be an idiot, if a woman says something stupid.
If it's there, she didn't actually say it.
If she said it, she didn't actually mean it. <-- You are here
If she meant it, you didn't understand the context.
If you understood the context, she is suffering from mental illness.
If she's not suffering from mental illness, silence.
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u/suggested-name-138 12d ago
It's a parody of red pill bullshit and IMO that's totally fair game, sarcasm and being as meta as possible is fundamental to internet culture. Context matters and this post has none.
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u/tesmatsam 12d ago
Bait used to be believable
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u/DrStrangepants 12d ago
I'm not sure if I would count the original tweet as bait, it's from a comedy account doing a toxic-girl bit.
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u/noncredibleRomeaboo 12d ago
Jokes on the orignal tweet, If my girls got a dog, I will also likely lavish more attention on the dog then her.
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u/Rishiiiiiiiii 12d ago
My gf broke up with me after I said her penis was normal. Wtf?? This is bad advice guys don't try it
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u/Dovelark 12d ago
I'm a girl, and my husband told me the same thing. Just made me happy :D I would have preferred if he said it was big though.
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u/Letitbe2020 12d ago
Why does the internet want men and women to hate eachother?
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u/WallScreamer 12d ago
It's bait.
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u/Letitbe2020 12d ago
And what do they catch with this bait if men and women hate eachother?
Whatās the goal? Clicks?
They donāt really care that we end up hating eachother as long as there areā¦CLICKSā¦?
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u/WallScreamer 12d ago
They catch people that get outraged/offended so they and everyone that sees it as a joke can laugh at the people that take it seriously. It's still mean-spirited, but it's not genuine in its message.
That said, if you actually wind up hating the opposite gender because of troll posting, I'm not sure how to help you.
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u/Letitbe2020 12d ago
I think Iām goodābut that mob mentality and that red pill business seem to sweep up a bit too many folks who probably do need help.
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u/-TheRed 12d ago
They donāt really care that we end up hating eachother as long as there areā¦CLICKSā¦?
This is just a joke account but objectively yes.
Clicks often mean money, and there is no line that won't be crossed eventually if it means profit. Remember that time in American history people ran a PR campaign to make sure the public kept believing Africans were inferior just to keep labour costs down.
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u/LemonBomb 12d ago
Drama. Nice people having good relationships isnāt entertaining or interesting. I keep my nice relationship off of social media.
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u/asdeadasacrabseyes 12d ago
Lonely women collect cats.
The internet loves cats.
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u/Letitbe2020 12d ago
So itās cats Cats are in control of the internet and they want men and women to hate eachother
Okay I can live with that
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u/Poette-Iva 12d ago
This is absolutely a joke post reflecting those red pill "dating advice" bros.
Like, come on, reading comprehension.
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u/coconutclaus 12d ago
I usually assume that people know more than me when something looks like a joke but they don't treat it like one but this is just oblivious
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u/BanginBentleys 12d ago
Totally.
I think the comprehension is fine. Do you mean reading between the lines? Lol
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u/Biomax315 12d ago
Yeah, I immediately recognized that these are all things that men commonly do to women in relationships (Iām guilty of some) which I assume was her point.
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u/Every-Chemistry-2969 12d ago
This literally sounds like every alpha male redpill podcast dating advice I've ever heard...
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u/EsotericTribble 12d ago
You listen to alpha male podcasts?
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u/Every-Chemistry-2969 12d ago
Absolutely not, but they are everywhere now and sometimes a few slip in from time to time. When Andrew tate was in the news, I obviously had to look up what this turd was about, too.
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u/Consistent-Matter-59 12d ago
She's one of the funnier trolls on twitter.
The incel rage in her replies is hilarious.
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u/graveybrains 12d ago
YOUR VAGINE IS STRUCTURALLY ADEQUATE AND SUFFICIENT FOR MY NEEDS
IGNORE ME!!!
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u/Amazing_Tangerine569 12d ago
And when you point out to them their wavy loose bacons, you know what happens? Theirs another double standard.
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u/Aster_Etheral 12d ago
Brent is playing a much riskier game on this one fellas, the commenting on his girlfriends penis could either get him pegged, or induce a massive episode of gender dysphoria, either way, heās fucked.
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u/Mobius24 12d ago
This only works on simps, anyone with a shred of self-respect isn't playing this game
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u/Obtuse_Porcupine 12d ago
Pretty true. Anyone who respects themselves would tell this bitch to kick rocks and eat shit.
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u/tzaeru 12d ago
I mean I hope everyone understand that MariĆØ is obviously being sarcastic?
Those are already flipped from common stereotypes of how men communicate.
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u/lawblawg 12d ago
Right but if she was being sarcastic to start then breaking face at the end is illogical. By taking this dude seriously (who may or may not have been responding sarcastically), she creates confusion about whether she herself was originally sarcastic or serious.
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u/WallScreamer 12d ago
It's not sarcasm, it's just trolling. The goal of the post is to get a rise out of people.
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u/UnusualAdjective 12d ago
To me it doesn't seem like she is taking the dude seriously. It feels like she's still in the ironic character, and I think "You are hateful" (in response for basically being "called out" for "being hateful") is really funny :D
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u/Happy-Viper 12d ago
Those aren't typical male communication stereotypes, lmao. If you think they are, that honestly says a lot more about you than anyone else.
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u/Eternal-defecator 12d ago
Youāre talking out your ass. Iām not saying men are perfect but those points are not flipped from men.
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u/Additional_Pop5777 12d ago
Yeah this seems like a very obvious emulation of those Alpha Male Tips #2729: How To Keep Your Pathetic Woman Humble posts and podcasts that are flooding the internet. I hate to be a "wElL iF tHe RoLlS wErE rEvErSeD" person but... the roles ARE reversed in this instance; it's just shocking and disgusting to everyone because it's coming from a woman.
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u/Happy-Viper 12d ago
It's shocking and disgusting because it's straight up emotional manipulation, not because it's coming from a woman.
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u/Select_Cantaloupe_62 12d ago
"Things to do if you want to get dumped but don't want to do the dumping"
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u/External-Egg-8094 12d ago
You know growing up was realizing my parents were playing narcissistic games. It took me awhile to realize that there are people so unhappy, they try and manipulate everything. It sounds exhausting. Iām just trying to get through the day, while youāre putting effort into spinning a narrative. Relax
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u/That_Confidence83 12d ago
Ah yes, my ex-wife performed all these tricks while she was cheating on me.
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u/Snoo-36596 12d ago
Why do relationships nowadays seem like an exercise in mental manipulation and emotional gymnastics. I thought people entered into relations because they like the other person and like to hang out with them. Why should you need to do any of this to anyone let alone a person that you purport to care for? Why should you need to keep them humble? Shouldn't you be able to take them as they are? Why does it seem like there is always some gender war that needs to have a clear and definite winner. Can't y'all just be happy in a relationship, cherishing each other and enriching each other's lives. I don't get what's happened in the last few years but I really hate it and I hope we go back.
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u/y0uveseenthebutcher 12d ago
got a lotta nerve saying all that looking like a 1682 english peasant wife
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u/Mec26 12d ago
Misunderstood instructions- spent all morning comparing BF to random other people, BF got tired of hearing how much better he is than passerby. Said it was awkward to do in hearing range of the strangers.
He did like that I gave the dog a bath and called his penis āfiiiiiineā tho. 5/7 advice.
/jk no BF
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u/Jvlockhart 12d ago edited 12d ago
Girlfriend: what's for dinner?
Me: remembers the one word answer advice none
Now, I'm eating burger on a bench somewhere in the park. Good advice
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u/MikeAwesomesMullet 12d ago
Doesnāt really work like that though.
If I told my gf her penis was āfineā sheād just be confused.
We have no dog.
If I told her she was pretty but some guy on the street was prettier, again, confusion.
Think it through.
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u/T3knikal95 12d ago
It's funny how some people online are so arrogant about being horrible people lol
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